Dissecting the Lumbersexual:
Impeccably gelled coifs, baby-smooth jawlines, and slimline pants are officially yesterday's fashion headlines. What felled the metrosexual? None other than a rugged, distinctly manly look straight out of "Portlandia" (or a logging camp in British Columbia somewhere). Ladies and gentlemen, meet the lumbersexual. And the Coop's got everything you need to authentically nail this new testosterone-fueled trend. Except the beard--you're on your own for that.
While a beard is, perhaps, the most crucial element of nailing the lumbersexual look, don't forget: you don't need a bristly tangle of facial hair to make it work. It's the beard on the inside that counts. To that end, top off your visage (bewhiskered or not) with a bold beanie, and keep your exposed face rugged but protected with sunscreen and stylish shades. Bonus points if you don sunglasses made of wood.
While not mandatory, a button-front shirt--preferably flannel--solidifies your status as a lumbersexual. In a pinch, a thermal henley or pullover fleece (reminiscent of "old timers" with nubbly material and Indian blanket-inspired prints) will also do the trick. Warm outside? A weathered t-shirt with a vintage-styled graphic keeps you true to your axe-swinging roots. And it's all comfy and practical. Top it off with a puffy down vest or jacket for insulating warmth that won't cramp your style.
Like majestic redwood tree trunks, give your lower limbs the respect they deserve. And for that, nothing beats a pair of broken-in, weathered, worn jeans. You can let someone else (namely, the brand) take care of that hard work for you; otherwise, wear your jeans for everything you do that involves close contact with dirt, rock, lumber, blood, sweat, and tears. Durable hiking or climbing pants also have the same effect. Just make sure their hue is firmly in "neutral" territory.
For footwear, there's no substitute for the real deal: hiking boots. If it's not trail ready, it's not worth donning, even for your daily regimen of walking from your desk to the coffeemaker and back. Rugged leather or waxed canvas approach shoes with grippy rubber soles are also acceptable. Just make sure there are no flashy graphics or sizable logos to detract from their obvious efficiency. (Less is so much more.) Underneath? Nothing but pure, unadorned merino wool socks with enough cushioning for a double-digit mileage hike--but they'll suffice for your walk to Starbucks just as well.
Think of accessories as the beautiful pine needles sprouting forth from your now solidly lumbersexual trunk. They are the reflections of your soul, and nothing says "truly manly" more than using a keychain carabiner that's actually certified for climbing, shielding your smartphone with recycled wood, or making your friends move a fly fishing rod every time they want to ride in your vehicle.